The human mind is fascinating. I marvel at how this wad of grey matter, with the subsequent spinal fluid and nerve network, encapsulates billions of individuals’ unique souls and personalities. As a hobbyist, I have dabbled with some light study of psychology and neurophysiology to understand self and core human interaction better. These fields are massive, with actively evolving comprehensions and theories of how and why. There are still many undiscovered facets of the mind that cannot be empirically quantified or defined. We have all had moments when a forgotten ‘toy from the attic of life’ falls loose, and we surprise ourselves with the randomness our minds can produce.
“Love and hate exist like oil and water in a closed container – they don’t mix.”
Multiple sources have told me throughout my life that we all possess unique talents. One of my innate abilities is that music, literature, and imagery are easy for me to categorize and recall. This knack is generally good and suits me well in trivia games and conversation. However, it may be more difficult for my wife, who must think I suffer from madness with the aimless and arbitrary references I tend to produce on a whim. Furthermore, the fact that I may forget what I had for lunch yesterday mystifies her further when I cite musical, pop culture, and art-historical references from the depth of Western civilization.
One such moment occurred a month or so back. I woke up in the middle of the night with cerebral echoes of Christopher Cross crooning about being caught between ‘The Moon and New York City.’ Messed up… right? What alternate reality spawned this 40-year-old pop reverberation, and why is it in my head? Bear in mind that I am more of a psychedelic rock dystopian sci-fi guy, NOT a 1980’s soft rock rom-com fan. Nevertheless, the earworm was writhing around in my subconscious, and there was nothing to do but free the serpent by airing the tune. As a youth, this would have required a trip to the shopping mall to purchase the official soundtrack to the 1981 film Arthur, starring Dudley Moore and Liza Minnelli. With today’s wonderfully convenient streaming services, the media was available with a quick voice prompt, and I moved to resolve the situation permanently while preparing for my morning shift.
So there I was, taking an early morning hot shower while laying down some tight karaoke tracks with Christopher to ‘The Best That You Can Do’ — on repeat.
Once in your life, you find her
Someone that turns your heart around
The next thing you know, you’re closing down the town
Wake up and it’s still with you
Even though you left her way across town
Wondering to yourself, “Hey, what’ve I found?”
In that nostalgic moment of star-crossed love overpowering the world’s desire for wealth, ‘she found… me.’ Desperate to excise the demon, I had failed to acknowledge the rest of the family, also getting ready for the day. With the jaded skepticism that only years of marriage can propagate, my wife demanded, “What on Earth are you listening to?” Well, naturally… the soundtrack to the film Arthur, Dear. You see:
Arthur he does as he pleases
All of his life, he’s masked his choice and
Deep in his heart, he’s just, he’s just a boy
Living his life one day at a time
And showing himself a really good time
Laughing about the way they want him to be
The exchange ended with an audible sigh of disgust and, quite possibly, the world’s most expansive ‘eye roll’ on record. The film Arthur must not have received the same media exposure in Western Canada — the only plausible solution to such a reaction.
As unique individuals possessing singular minds, we must acknowledge that, more often than not, ‘The best that you can do is fall in love.’ I dare say we have societally forgotten that message in recent years. ‘I know it’s crazy, but it’s true.’
The stumbling block facing our global community in the past several decades is that our programming has taught us to despise distinctiveness and opposing viewpoints instead of celebrating individuals for their genuine attributes, conventional or otherwise. Ironically, much of that programming has been labeled under the banner of love — but as a loving person, you should hate others who don’t believe in the brand of ‘love’ that you do.
The problem with this line of rhetoric is that love and hate are antonyms. You cannot live ‘in love’ and hate your neighbor within the same headspace. Love and hate exist like oil and water in a closed container — they don’t mix. The two liquids oppose each other at a molecular level. Trying to blend them makes a murky mess that may take hours, even days, to congeal into the previously identifiable layers.
The net result of this popularized love-hate fallacy is core identity confusion. The uncertainty of self leads people to seek strength in numbers. Groups form and create polarized tribes of similarly agitated humanity with opposing camps believing they each exist on a moral high ground of love and tolerance. At the same time, their inner cores are embodied in the spirit of confusion and resentment. Being that it is easier to be critical of others than self-assess or self-amend, each camp readily accuses the other of being the very thing they manifest — hatred by way of terminal intolerance.
Today’s youth are victims of a decades-long cultural civil war created and perpetuated for no better reason than to distract a populace from questionable policy decisions. They have and continue to suffer from the stress and trauma of this manipulation in the ever-sensitive ‘coming-of-age’ period of their lives. As adults, we suffer from bitterness and disenfranchised notions about how things ‘used to be.’ These crippling feelings are characterized by doubt, fear, intolerance, and hatred — the opposite of hope, courage, acceptance and love.
Regrettably, these negative attributes have become culturally systemic within our war-weary populace and manifest themselves daily, even in our quaint mountain valley. Some refer to this as the ‘mental health crisis.’ Impatience and disregard for others can be noted with every drive across town and in every place of business. We are not immune to this global trend of fear and resentment in the Heber Valley.
Diving back into the dusty attic of musical randomness, the second single from Styx’s triple platinum album The Grand Illusion, released in 1977, is titled “Fooling Yourself (The Angry Young Man).” After an optimistic and upbeat synth intro, the track begins with singer and composer Tommy Shaw stating, “Relax… Take it easy…,” a sentiment I have found myself reciting on a near daily basis to those closest to me. Tommy goes on to state:
You see the world through your cynical eyes
You’re a troubled young man I can tell
You’ve got it all in the palm of your hand
But your hand’s wet with sweat and your head needs a rest
And you’re fooling yourself if you don’t believe it
You’re kidding yourself if you don’t believe it
As I listen to this song today, I can’t help but take a moment to look into the mirror. Do I find myself regularly irritable? Do I perceive the world with cynical eyes? If so, is it truth or conspiracy? If the cynicism is justifiable, is there anything I can do to change the reality? The absolute truth is that ‘you’ve got it all in the palm of your hand,’ and you are empowered to define your reality.
Whatever the source of irritation — a life-altering or relationship-redefining emotional reaction will not help your overall condition. Psychologically speaking, new emotions are generally short-lived — like 90 seconds short. Attaching the emotion to an event facilitates memory persistence. As the mind revisits the event, the memory of the emotion is attached. This allows the emotion to be indefinitely resurrected. Neural plasticity is created as the synaptic trail is frequented, like a well-worn single track on a mountain hillside. Over time and repetition, plasticity can reprogram the mind into a new trail related to that emotion. This pattern can be replicated for any emotion, positive or negative.
Get up, get back on your feet
You’re the one they can’t beat and you know it
Come on, let’s see what you’ve got
Just take your best shot and don’t blow it
Should you discover that your world is more cynical than it used to be, you may actively choose to ‘get back on your feet.’ Adopt the mentality that you control your destiny and are accountable for your actions, and take the appropriate measures to create daily patterns that will facilitate the outlook or perception you desire.
As citizens of the Heber Valley, we truly live in a privileged community. We should feel gratitude, generosity, and reciprocated kindness for our fortunate circumstances. Even for those who may feel disadvantaged, a brief hyperopic view will reveal that we are some of the most blessed people on the planet. Be humble, respectful, and empathetic to avoid petty quarrels with your neighbors or fellow citizens. Let us adopt a mentality befitting of our surroundings. Fall in love with the Heber Valley and everything in it. After all, ‘when you get caught between the Moon and [Heber City], the best that you can do, is fall in love.’
