My eight-year-old daughter and I were sitting at the dinner table at the close of the day. The rest of the family had moved on to their business, and she and I had remained seated while having a thoughtful chat. After a dramatic pause in the conversation, she asked me, “Dede, if you had an elemental power, which one would it be?” Oddly enough, I had previously considered this question. Nevertheless, I continued the dialogue and we evaluated the options. “Not fire. Too aggressive. Too destructive. Wind would be awesome because you could fly, but I find the wind mostly obnoxious at volume. Earth would be pretty cool, because of terraforming, but my heart is attached to water.” She agreed with this logic, and we both set off to prepare for bedtime as cognate water spirits.
I have always found water particularly healing. Throughout my early adulthood, I spent many years pursuing gamefish with a fly rod in hand. There was always a quarry, but in hindsight, I realized that ‘the hunt’ was more about self-discovery and healing, while the fish’s ‘existence’ justified the untold hours on the water.
Nature heals. Some are more sensitive to the energy than others. My mother often told me that going outside was the sure-fire way to keep me from fussing as an infant. As I became self-aware in my early teenage years, I yearned for time outside, for barefoot walks on native earth, for starlit nights bedded next to the dying embers of a campfire, and for distance from the contrived parameters of society, including its inhabitants. Old habits die hard, and those inherent desires ultimately landed me in a small agricultural town in Utah with proximity to the necessary amenities to pursue adulthood.
Heber Valley is different today than it was twenty-five years ago. Clearly, Heber’s culture was not the clichéd ‘city life’ that upset me in my adolescence, but it was far from perfect or paradisical. Even though I had deep genealogical roots in the formation of the Utah territory, I was perceived as an outsider and forced to find my way independently. Being a ‘loner’ suits me well, and I saw plenty of solace with my dog and my time on the river, in the mountains, or in the desert. The benefits outweighed the costs, and despite a curious and thoughtful nature, I could never answer the question, “If not Heber, then where?” So here I sit today. Nature heals, and kindred spirits are drawn to common hunting grounds.
On another evening, my eight-year-old daughter and I discussed growing pains. “Dede, my legs hurt, and I can’t sleep.” As we pondered the philosophy of growth and decay models, one of my favorite take-away concepts from art school came to mind.
“Every Act Of Creation Is First An Act Of Destruction.
– Pablo Picasso”
I recall this quote as being troubling at the time. My identity as an art student was built around creating beauty from raw material. Destruction is ugly. How can the act of creating something beautiful be grounded in ugliness?
I eventually discovered that the dilemma I faced was quite subjective. What defines beauty? The pigment I used for my “beautiful” creation would commonly be mined from the earth, crushed, chemically treated, packaged in a tube that also required harvested, treated material, then contents mixed with more chemical vehicles, and smudged on a surface that had also been aggressively processed from trees, plants, minerals, and metals. For me to create, there was a necessary chain of destruction. The rabbit hole runs quantum-level deep on this one. Our entire universe is growing, and all matter is competing down to the atomic level; macro to micro realities. Animals, plants, fungi, protists, archaea, bacteria, looking upward to the push and pull of the atmosphere, the oceans, the galaxy, and beyond: the sole outcome is creation, represented by concurrent growth and decay, perpetually destroying the status quo.
Some kids get bedtime stories about magic kingdoms and happily ever afters. Applying quantum mechanics to creation models can also put kids to sleep. Oh well…
As we reenter the firmament and settle back into the Heber Valley, our community continues to have growing pains. While the development trend is evident, the more subtle growing pains have surfaced in social media messaging and politics. I first learned the word ‘narcissism’ in the context of Hanna-Barbera’s animated character, Vanity Smurf. Vanity is always portrayed with a flower in his hat and a cosmetic mirror in hand, frequently gazing at his reflection and correspondingly oblivious to others. In recent years, I have seen rampant narcissism spawning from city centers and spreading like mycelium to the reaches of the world, fueled by pocket computers, networking software applications, heart buttons, data analytics, stainless steel mugs, and designer stretchy pants. I wish the fallout were as benign as what Vanity Smurf projects.
Comparison is the thief of joy. As any creation begins as an act of destruction, comparison will destroy the joy of a positive reflection or self-image. When a self-image is destroyed, the mind must reconstruct what was with something else. It is far easier to be told than it is to invent. The simple act of comparison makes the individual vulnerable to new messaging. Networking platform users generally post artificially ideal lifestyle portrayals. Misinformants chirp pleasing half-truths, like Pied Pipers to their rats, to achieve their desired increase or outcome. Herein lies the danger of social media and why the overall future of marketing leads to social channels.
Narcissistic personality disorders have symptoms that include a pervasive need for admiration, a lack of empathy, an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and personal entitlement beliefs. Such individuals commonly adopt an ‘ends justify the means’ mentality to achieve their agendas instead of a collaborative resolution process that ultimately leads to compromise. Without empathy or a willingness to ‘come across the aisle,’ we introduce partisan politics to the social ecosystem, and logic is systemically replaced by emotion and fallacy. When the ‘ends justify the means,’ the means are characteristically immoral, which is why the action requires justification. The alarming social acceptance of those misinforming, disinforming, and manipulating others to achieve an outcome is regrettable. Knowingly supporting a movement that utilizes such tactics makes you an accomplice and near equal to the content originator.
How does one find accurate information in the present-day minefield of narcissistic agendas? First, find time to heal and reconnect with your genuine, kindergarten-level, positive self-image. In my life, this boils down to unplugging and spending quality time in nature. Everyone will have their unique solution, but if it involves screens, material acquisition, or something your favorite influencer suggested, it will likely not generate the healing you need to become a critical thinker. A device-free afternoon reading a printed book under the shade of a tree may be a good place to start. Others may set a goal to summit a mountain peak, or catch a fish on a dry fly. Do these things without posting to your Strava or Insta accounts for accolades and affirmations. Once you have rediscovered your optimistic self, set an emotional baseline for how it feels to experience joy.
Truth will inspire joy. Not necessarily happiness, like getting what you think you want, but a more profound sense of contentment with your world. Be skeptical of those who aspire to influence your thoughts. Become an intellectual ‘loner’ and a critical thinker. When you achieve this goal, you will more plainly discern truth in media messaging.
I have experienced that life as a critical thinker brings more peace. I do not believe everything I read on the Internet. I read, consider the source, analyze motives related to the message, and then draw my personal conclusion. If you do this, the truth and subsequent joy in your life will increase.
Thank you for being so supportive of Heber Valley Life. I encourage you to join our new podcast, Building Community with Rachel Kahler. There, we will meet with the entrepreneurs, visionaries, and decision makers who have shaped who we are and where we are going. Have a happy and healthy summer!
