I sat down with Joel Zuckerman, author of Gratitude Tiger, in a cafe surrounded by magazines that he could have written in what he calls his former life. At one time, he was a wildly successful golf writer; however, that wasn’t what he wanted to talk about today. Joel discovered something he loves more than waxing poetic about a beloved sport; and that something is all about gratitude.
This journey of Joel’s began more than a decade ago, when he picked up a self-help book that advised him to write a heartfelt letter. Fortuitously, he misread the book’s instructions, thinking it said to write a letter of gratitude. Writing a simple letter of gratitude, Joel mused, “I can do that.” He explains, “I decided I was going to write a letter to a business associate of mine who had been very helpful in my golf writing career, and as I sat down to write the letter on my computer, it never occurred to me I would write a second letter.” What he wasn’t expecting was how good he felt. At the time of our interview, he had written 280 letters of gratitude. Each letter brings an incredible elation not only for the recipient but also for himself.
In a 20031 study on the effects of gratitude and grateful thinking, the data showed that grateful thinking dramatically improves mood and brings about a greater sense of well-being.
Upon making this discovery, Joel wanted to share it with the world, so he created a presentation and wrote Gratitude Tiger. “Most people write a book and then speak. I spoke first, and then decided to write a book,” Joel exclaimed, “[I needed] a book as a calling card… a 160-page business card.” For Joel, the term “motivational speaking” reeks a little too much of a certain van-dwelling character played by Chris Farley on Saturday Night Live; that’s why he coined the term enrichment speaking. “I deliver it with a degree of entertainment and humor and poignancy, but the message is that if you write letters of gratitude, you, the writer, will feel good.” His presentation is titled The Seven Pillars of Expressive Gratitude. Joel has presented his philosophy of gratitude to hundreds of people and offers workshops to help attendees get into a gratitude-centric state of mind.
You can tell how clever Joel is from some of the names he gives to chapters in his book or the names of his workshops. My personal favorite is Thank Tank, Better than a Think Tank. This workshop is all about asking the kinds of questions with no wrong answers that get participants thinking about gratitude in ways they never have before. Joel is very pleased with the reviews for both his book and speaking seminars, “People feel moved when they hear my presentations. The Seven Pillars is funny but also poignant. There are sad moments in it, and a lot of people say I’m gonna write a letter [sic]. I’ll say, ‘Well, hopefully you’ll enjoy the feeling so much, you’ll write a second one’, because when I wrote the first one, it didn’t occur to me that I would write a second one.”
How about the titular tiger hiding in the metaphorical bushes? Most people assume it comes from Joel’s golf background. I personally thought it was about being fiercely grateful. Joel clarified that Tiger (or more appropriately, T.I.G.E.R.) is an acronym that means: Tapping Into Gratitude Engenders Rewards. He further elaborated why it’s so important to be grateful, musing, “a podcast interviewer said to me, ‘you can’t be grateful and angry in the same moment.’ You can’t be grateful and worried at the same time. They can come hot on the heels of each other. But creating a gratitude mindset is helpful for emotional well-being.” T.I.G.E.R is right on the money, neurologically speaking. The same regions that light up the brain’s reward centers fire off like crazy when it comes to grateful thinking. It’s no wonder that we have an entire holiday dedicated to recentering people’s minds on gratitude; it’s one of the first things we teach babies. Countless studies conclude that gratitude is an essential sociological response crucial for building social bonds.
As our conversation concluded, Joel shared with me what he explained as the difference between proactive and reactive gratitude. He listed several examples of reactive gratitude, from the benign, like seeing gridlocked traffic going the other way, feeling grateful you’re not in that, to receiving a good medical diagnosis. “Everyone feels that. Proactive gratitude is the brass ring that I’m chasing, and everyone should be chasing. When you’re proactively grateful, you take the time to be grateful, expressively grateful.” He proceeded to quote Gertrude Stein, “Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone.” So, I’ve been making an effort to express my gratitude. I haven’t gone so far as to put pen to paper to express my gratitude, but that’s okay because Joel’s final thought for me was this, “Just because I write seven paragraph letters, it doesn’t mean you can’t do the same thing in seven sentences, or even seven words.” As long as you are proactively expressing gratitude, you will see the reward, and, overall, you will have healthier emotional well-being. Thanks, Joel, I owe you one.
To learn more about Gratitude Tiger or to book Joel Zuckerman for a speaking engagement, visit gratitudetiger.com
